


BisexualDragon has named the chat "Kiss The Girl"

by Stormy_Night



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: All Relationship Except Malvie Are Background, Don't Even Know If I'll Continue This, Everyone Is Gay, Evie Is Very Much In Love With Her, Gayscendants, I Changed The Title Name, I Don't Even Know, I Love All My Gay Babies, I Thought It Fit Better, I Was In A Very Malvie Mood And This Was The Result, It's Only Lightly Mentioned/Implied But I'm Soft For Them So Imma Tag It, Love Confessions, Mal Is A Dumbas Bi, Mal is a little shit, Multi, Past Mal/Uma (Disney), Scheming, She's Also Extremely Oblivious, Uma Is Having The Time Of Her Life, Uma's The Real MVP In This Situation, Why Did I Write This?, it's probably really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormy_Night/pseuds/Stormy_Night
Summary: BisexualDragon:I... am dead...WillFlirtWithAnoneWithinTenMetres:I think mal is having a wee bit of troubleWhatsmyname:she's just a disaster bipuppies&anxiety:uhh?? so r you???Whatsmyname:ah no I'm adysfunctionalbi. there's a differenceVoodooYouDo:xd yeah get it right carlos
Relationships: Audrey Rose/Uma (Disney), Celia Facilier/Dizzy Tremaine, Evie/Mal (Disney), Gil/Harry Hook, Jay/Carlos de Vil, Mal & Uma (Disney)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 171





	1. shh you're gonna miss the gay

**Author's Note:**

> Because it's not like I already have three other chat fics to finish

**Whatsmyname** has added **BisexualDragon, WatchMeSlay, princeofthieves, puppies &anxiety, WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres, EggsandAces, Iwillconyou, ImALittleDizzy **and **VoodooYouDo** to the chat 

**Whatsmyname** has named the chat **"I** **sland Fuckers"**

**BisexualDragon:** are you serious???

 **BisexualDragon:** do you not remember the last time we made a group chat!?

 **Whatsmyname:** hush, we're moving past that

 **ImALittleDizzy:** what happened last time??

 **puppies &anxiety: **uma dared mal to jump off the roof of the school, which landed her in hospital and evie refused to speak with her for a week

 **whatsmyname:** wasn't my fault she didn't just turn into a dragon

 **prince of thieves:** "ur not allowed to turn into a dragon u hear me??" were your exact words

 **WatchMeSlay:** I blame both of you

 **BisexualDragon:** I apologized like ten times!

 **VoodooYouDo:** you?? apologizing for doing something stupid?? whipped

 **Iwillconyou:** woah hold up who invited her?

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** well this is a chat for quote unquote "island fuckers"

 **puppies &anxiety: **fucking- why is ur name so long?

 **EggsandAces:** ua chose it for him

 **princeofthieves:** that makes sense

 **BisexualDragon:** well it is extremely accurate

 **Whatsmyname:** isn't it though

 **Whatsmyname:** I bet you couldn't come up with a cooler name

 **BisexualDragon:** U WANNA GO HOE!?!?

 **ImALittleDizzy:** lmaooo

 **VooDooYouDo:** they can't even go ten minutes without fighting can they?

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** no they can not

 **WatchMeSlay:** I sear to god Mal Bertha!

 **Iwillconyou:** ooo someones in trouble

 **princeofthieves:** shh ur gonna miss the gay

 **BisexualDragon:** wha- she started it!

 **WatchMeSlay:** I don't care. If you make one more dare you're sleeping on the couch

 **BisexualDragon:** wtf? we don't live together!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Your point?

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** I AM W H E E Z I N G

 **EggsandAces:** evie just fucking owned her ;D ;D

 **VoodooYouDo:** this is the best thing that has ever happened to me

 **BisexualDragon:** I will kill all of you!

 **puppies &anxiety: **what did I do!?

 **Iwillconyou:** lol even evie

 **BisexualDragon:** especially evie, bitch

 **ImALittleDizzy:** wait didn't you once say that if you didn't have evie in ur life you didn't see a point in living??

 **princeofthieves:** ha GAYY

 **WatchMeSlay:** Awe, isn't that sweet. Still. No more dares!

 **BisexualDragon:** i-

 **BisexualDragon:** I'm dead

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** I think mal is having a wee bit of trouble

 **Whatsmyname:** she's just a disaster bi

 **puppies &anxiety: **uhh?? so are you???

 **Whatsmyname:** no I'm a dysfunctional bi

 **Whatsmyname:** there's a difference

 **VoodooYouDo:** lmao, yeah get it right carlos

**frenemies4life**

**BisexualDragon:** help me!

 **BisexualDragon:** I'm having a bi panic!!

 **Whatsmyname:** why because ur a weak ass sub who's hopelessly in love with evie?

 **BisexualDragon:** bitch

 **Whatsmyname:** asshole

 **Whatsmyname:** so?

 **BisexualDragon:** yes ok imverygayformybestfriend

 **Whatsmyname:** FUCKING CALLED IT!!

 **Whatsmyname:** WHERE'S GIL HE OWES ME $20

 **BisexualDragon:** you bet on me!?

 **Whatsmyname:** yep, he thought dizzy would be the first one you told, but I told him! I know my best frenemy!!

 **BisexualDragon:** WAIT DOES EVERYONE KNOW!?!?!?!?

 **Whatsmyname:** ahh yea dud evie's been waiting for you to ask her out for years!

 **BisexualDragon:** WAIT DOES EVIE KNOW TOO KSGVNAR,DSG

 **Whatsmyname:** fucking- yes mal! she's been in love with ur dumb ass for years and has just been waiting for you to stop being so fucking oblivious and sort out your feelings!!

 **BisexualDragon:** well that's obviously a lie

 **BisexualDragon:** but you are going to help me actually win her hear

 **Whatsmyname:** are you serious??

 **BisexualDragon:** why the fuck wouldn't I be?

**Different Shades Of Blue**

**WatchMeSlay:** I just felt a shive run down my spine so...

 **WatchMeSlay:** What are you and Mal up to now?

 **Whatsmyname:** well mal has finally realized she's gay for u and is now going to try and win ur heart 

**WatchMeSlay:** I don't know if I should find this endearing or frightening...

 **WatchMeSlay:** Didn't you tell her I've been fuckng in love with her since before we came to Auradon?

 **Whatsmyname:** I tried but ur girl is dense as shit

 **Whatsmyname:** honestly you could probably jump her bones and she still wouldn't fucking get it

 **Whatsmyname:** so it's probably best to just let her go through with whatever insane idea she has planned

 **WatchMeSlay:** ok fine

 **WatchMeSlay:** Just make sure she doesn't get herself killed in the process would you?

 **Whatsmyname:** no promises

**Pup & Thief**

**princeofthieves:** AHHHHHH DDNJDFNBBNFDB IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!!

 **puppies &anxiety: **ok babe you need to calm the fuck down

 **princeofthieves:** CALM DOWN!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? HOW CAN I BE CALM AT A TIME LIKE THIS!?!?!?!?!?

 **puppies &anxiety: **what are you going on about?

 **princeofthieves:** MAL FINALLY REALIZED CARLOS!! SHE FINALLY REALIZED!!!!

 **puppies &anxiety: **realized what?

 **puppies &anxiety: **because I don't know if you've heard but mal doesn't realize _most things_ so ur gonna have to be more specific

 **princeofthieves:** ok, ok! think of the most frustrating thing mal's been oblivious to

 **puppies &anxiety: **well there was that one time she insisted on spelling ben even though he was very clearly already into her

 **pupies &anxiety: **or when she didn't even know that her and uma dated for like six months because "wait, don't all enemies make out in secret??"

 **princeofthieves:** u know I'm starting to see a pattern her

 **princeofthieves:** ur on the right track btw

 **puppies &anxiety: **who else has had feelings for mal the she's oblivious too...

 **puppies &anxiety: **wait a minute...

 **puppies &anxiety: **OMFG IF YOU'RE PRANKING ME RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA DUMP YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU'LL GET WHIPLASH!!!!!

 **princeofthieves:** I'M NOT I PROMISE!! MAL TOLD UMA AND UMA'S BEN TELLING LITERALLY EVERYONE!!! THAT INCLUDED EVIE!!!!!

 **puppies &anxiety:** wait, wait, wait! so they're together now!?!?

 **princeofthieves:** urg I wish!

 **princeofthieves:** mal wants to win evie's heart even though she already has it!

 **puppies &anxiety: **I'm-

 **puppies &anxiety: **honestly not even surprised at this point. at least she's finally getting somewhere

 **princeofthieves:** yeah

 **princeofthieves:** and, bonus! we get to watch mal be a dumbass bi!

 **puppies &anxiety: **lmao yeah, that's always fun


	2. even I know that plan is stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ImALittleDizzy:** honestly mal, you've been pinning for years and just haven't realized
> 
>  **BisexualDragon:** we seriously need to come up with a plan fast so I can finally kiss the love of my life
> 
>  **Whatsmyname:** welp you're in luck mallory
> 
>  **EggsandAces:** wait, that's what Mal is short for??
> 
>  **BisexualDragon:** no, Uma's just a bitch

**BisexualDragon** has added **Whatsmyname, ImALittleDizzy, puppies &anxiety **and **EggsandAces** to the chat

**BisexualDragon** has named the chat **"Kiss The Girl"**

**BisexualDragon:** I bet you're all wondering why you've been summond

 **puppies &anxiety: **because you finally figured out your gay ass feelings for evie??

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah sorry I forgot to mention. I kinda already told everyone #sorrynotsorry :P

 **BisexualDragon:** YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!

 **ImALittleDizzy:** eeeee! I'm so excited, I've been wait for this day my entire life :D :D :D

 **EggsandAces:** I still can't believe you told uma first :(

 **Whatsmyname:** I can!

 **puppies &anxiety:** btw, jay hasn't stopper screaming since he found out (someone save me)

 **ImALittleDizzy:** so what's the plan??

 **ImALittleDizzy:** are you gonna do a big romantic gesture!? 

**BisexualDragon:** I'm so glad you asked, young one

 **Whatsmyname:** I bet u anything she has no clue what she's gonna do

 **BisexualDragon:** fuck off

 **EggsandAces:** oh I know!

 **EggsandAces:** u could throw an egg at her and when in cracks open there'll be confetti that says "evie, I love you"

 **ImALittleDizzy:** how would we get the confetti in the egg??

 **puppies &anxiety: **yeah, and if you just throw it at her, pretty sure it would leave a mark or some shit

 **Whatsmyname:** that's a really dumb idea gil...

 **Eggs &aces: **I thought it was cool :(((

 **BisexualDragon:** before you all so rudely interrupted me, I was going to say that I already have the perfect plan

 **puppies &anxiety: **shoot

 **BisexualDragon:** I jump into the ocean

 **Whatsmyname:** well this is already a horrible idea

 **ImALittleDizzy:** mal you can't swim...

 **BisexualDragon:** I know! that's whats so great about it!

 **BisexualDragon:** I "slip" and fall into the ocean, evie will jump in after me and well have to give me CPR

 **BisexualDragon:** then. after she's revived me, she'll realize how scared she was to loose me and will realize how much she loves me!

 **ImALittleDizzy:**...

 **Whatsmyname:**...

 **EggsandAces:** even I know that plan is stupid

 **puppies &anxiety: **suddenly gil's egg plan is sounding a whole lot more appealing

 **Whatsmyname:** LMFAO!!! MAL YOU DUMBASS!!!!! I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

 **BisexualDragon:** WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY IDEA!?!?

 **ImALittleDizzy:** well for starters, evie's not exactly a strong swimmer mal

 **puppies &anxiety: **yeah, in case you've forgotten, the reason you can't swim is because of the magical barrier

 **puppies &anxiety: **literally the only strong VK swimmer is uma

 **BisexualDragon:** oh... right

 **BisexualDragon:** OF FUCK THE GODDESS IS TEXTING ME!!!!

 **EggsandAces:** well you r best friends, its not exactly unusual 

**Whatsmyname:** he's right, stop being a disaster bi and talk to her!

 **Whatsmyname:** just be cool

 **BisexualDragon:** cool... yeah I can do that... I think

**Blue and Purple**

**WatchMeSlay:** I have a feeling you're about to do something stupid

 **BisexualDragon:** me?? do something stupid?? never!

 **WatchMeSlay:** Mal, I adore you bit if I have to bail you out of hail again, I swear...

 **BisexualDragon:** that was one time! let it go already!

 **WatchMeSlay:** Did you make another bet with Uma?

 **BisexualDragon:** no -_-

 **WatchMeSlay:** M...

 **BisexualDragon:** E

 **WatchMeSlay:** I'm serious!

 **WatchMeSlay:** You really scared me last time, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you

 **BisexualDragon:** oh...

 **BisexualDragon:** I- yeah

 **BisexualDragon:** sorry

 **BisexualDragon:** I really didn't mean to scare you. I'll try to be more careful from now on ok?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Thank you, M

 **BisexualDragon:** yeah, uh... I gotta... do something um- I'll come by later?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Yeah, okay, see you then

 **BisexualDragon:** bye, E

**Kiss The Girl**

**BisexualDragon:** fuck I am such a goner

 **puppies &anxiety: **I could've told you that

 **ImALittleDizy:** honestly mal, you've been pinning for years and just haven't realized

 **BisexualDragon:** we seriously need to come up with a plan fast so I can finally kiss the loml

 **Whatsmyname:** welp, ur in luck mallory

 **EggsandAces:** wait, that's what mal is short for???

 **BisexualDragon:** no, uma's just a bitch

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah

 **Whatsmyname:** a bitch with a plan

 **ImALittleDizzy:** ohh do tell!

**LesBeHonest**

**QueenBitch:** why did I just see mal, uma and dizzy running away from the security guards??

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** where's this?

 **QueenBitch:** the mall

 **WatchMeSlay:** those idiots

 **SwordLesbian:** OMG evie is it true!? did mal finally ask you out!?!?

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** oh yes! celia mentioned it yesterday, I'm so happy for you!!

 **WatchMeSlay:** Hades, does all of Auradon know??

 **QueenBitch:** pretty much

 **QueenBitch:** so? spill

 **WatchMeSlay:** no she hasn't asked me, uma said she wants to do something to win my heart or something

 **SwordLesbian:** god that girl is so oblivious smh

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** do you think this has something to do with the security guards??

 **WatchMeSlay:** Most likely, yes

 **QueenBitch:** oh shit! mal just spelled the guards! 

**QueenBitch:** THEY JUST TURNED INTO MICE!!!!

 **SwordLesbian:** audrey please tell me you recorded it!?

 **QueenBitch:** bitch do u even know me at all?

 **QueenBitch:** [Video Attatched]

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! UMA FULL ON YEETED DIZZY ACROSS THE MAL!!!!!

 **SwordLesbian:** mal looks pissed lmao

 **WatchMeSlay:** It is not fair for her to look that pretty all the fucking time!

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** evie that's gay lmao

 **SwordLesbian:** so r you, dude

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** o shit u right

 **QueenBitch:** of fuck! they saw me

 **QueenBitch:** wait... this is an opportunity

 **WatchMeSlay:** An opportunity for what, exactly?

 **QueenBitch:** to find out what the hell these idiots are planning

 **QueenBitch:** don't worry, I'll report back: audrey, out

 **WatchMeSlay:** Oh no

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** well this just got a whole lot more interesting

**Bitchin' Pansexuals**

**princeofthieves:** apparently our boyfriends are being stupid

 **princeofthieves:** which is weird bc usually we're the ones doing stupid shit

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** oh? do tell

 **princeofthieves:** Jordan caught them sneak into pandora while it was closed

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** the went stealing without me!?

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** how dare they!

 **princeofthieves:** ikr!

 **princeofthieves:** but apparently they didn't steal anything

 **princeofthieves:** Jordan says they refused to say why they were there, which is weird

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** gil managed to keep his mouth shut?? that certainly is strange..

 **princeofthieves:** yeah, I'm gonna see if I can get carlos to spill, u do the same?

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** I suppose I can do that

 **princeofthieves:** cool, keep in touch


	3. yeah you've lost me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **BisexualDragon:** TRAITORS! ALL OF THEM!!
> 
>  **VoodooYouDo:** you do realize we still have their numbers right?
> 
>  **BisexualDragon:** WELL I KNOW WHERE THEY LIVE!!!!
> 
>  **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** Evie darling, please deny her cuddle rights so she'll tell us already
> 
>  **BisexualDragon:** JOKES ON YOU HOOK! I DON'T WANT HER CUDDLES!!
> 
>  **Iwillconyou:** I don't buy it (also Dizzy and I share a room so haha, I'm finding out as soon as she gets back)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once I wrote something I don't completely hate lmao

**Island Fuckers**

**Iwillconyou:** would someone mind telling me what the fuck is going on!?

 **VoodooYouDo:** language

 **Iwillconyou:** dude, u swear all the fucking time

 **VoodooYouDo:** I'm your older sister, I'm allowed to swear. you're not

 **Iwillconyou:** whatever I'm more concerned on why dizzy came back to our dorm soaking wet

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah sorry that was my fault. I threw her across the mall and she landed in the fountain

 **WatchMeSlay:** That's not all that happened

 **WatchMeSlay:** [Video Attatched]

 **BisexualDragon:** HOW DID YOU GET THAT!? WHY WAS IT REORDER!?!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** I have my ways

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** I am more interested in why the two most innocent of our group (gil and carlos) snuck into pandora

 **VoodooYouDo:** they did what now?

 **puppies &anxiety: **it's a long story

 **EggsandAces:** but we didn't do anything illegal!

 **princofthieves:** breaking into a store while it's closed is illegal gil

 **EggsandAces:** it is!? :O

 **Iwillconyou:** seriously what is going on with u lot?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Hey, I had nothing to do with it, I just have sources

 **ImALittleDizzy:** we didn't do anything bad...

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** mal turned guards into mice, uma terrorized half the people in the mal and carlos and girl broke the law

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** I mean seriously... you could have invited me!

 **VoodooYouDo:** moving on. who's idea was it. mal or uma's?

 **BisexualDragon:** wtf!? it could have been carlos, you don't know!

 **BisexualDragon:** (it was uma btw please don't kill me e)

 **Whatsmyname:** FUCKING SNITCH!!

 **Whatsmyname:** besides it was for YOUR benifit

 **Iwillconyou:** whatever, what I wanna know is _why_

 **EggsandAces:** well u see-

 **puppies &anxiety: **NOTHING

 **ImALittleDizzy:** we were just- u know... causing mischief

 **Iwillconyou:** ur all terrible liars

 **Iwillconyou:** also dizzy, your cuddling privileges are being revoked until u tell me what's going on

 **princeofthieves:** you too carlos

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** ^^^

 **BisexualDragon:** lmao, lie that's gonna work

 **puppies &anxiety: **but... cuddles

 **EggsandAces:** I'm asexual... cuddles r all I have

 **Whatsmyname:** WEAK

 **WatchMeSlay:** Uma, Audrey would like to inform you that she too will deny you cuddles as you refused to tell her anything yesterday

 **Whatsmyname:**...

 **Whatsmyname:** sorry mallory, you're on ur own

 **BisexualDragon:** UMA

 **ImALittleDizzy:** ok so it happened like this

**Bisexual dragon** has removed **Whatsmyname, pupies &anxiety, ImALittleDizzy **and **EggsandAces** from the chat

**BisexualDragon:** TRAITORS! ALL OF THEM!

 **VoodooYouDo:** you do realize we still have their numbers, right?

 **BisexualDragon:** WELL I KNOW WHERE THEY LIVE!!!!!

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** evie, darling, please deny her cuddling rights so she'll tell us already

 **BisexualDragon:** JOKES ON YOU HOOK! I DON'T WANT HER CUDDLES!!

 **Iwillconyou:** I don't buy it

 **Iwillconyou:** (also dizy and I share a room so haha, I'm finding out as soon as she gets back)

 **WatchMeSlay:** First of all. M, that was very hurtful and second of all, I really would prefer not to know what trouble you've gotten yourself into so you guys have fun with this. I have an appointment to get to

 **princeofthieves:** evie! don't just leave us!

 **BisexualDragon:** haha assholes! I win!

 **VoodooYouDo:** don't go getting to cocky, bitch

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** yeah lassy, we will be finding out what your hiding

**Kiss The Girl**

**puppies &anxiety: **geez mal, that was a bit harsh don't you think??

 **BisexualDragon:** you guys were about to blow the plan IN FRON OF EVIE! so no, carlos, I don't think it was a bit harsh

 **Whatsmyname:** I'm not risking my cuddle privileges for you. especially since, EVIE ALREADY LIKES YOU AND KNOWS YOU LIKE HER!!!

 **BisexualDragon:** uma that joke is getting old

 **ImALittleDizzy:** I dont think it's a joke, but I do think Evie will appreciate the effort you put into asking her out

 **EggsandAces:** yeah! she's gonna love it!

 **BisexualDragon:** see! she's gonna love it, so stop being a hater you bitch

 **Whatsmyname:** whatever

 **Whatsmyname:** I'm still telling audrey

 **BisexualDragon:** NO! audrey is literally the worst person to tell, she's evie's best friend (not including me of course, cause like, I'm her real best friend)

 **BisexualDragon:** so if I head any of u blabbing your mouths to anyone, you'll answer to me. that clear!?

 **puppies &anxiety: **yes smh

 **EggsandAces:** fiine

 **ImALittleDizzy:** just don't take to long, please!

 **BisexualDragon:** uma...

 **Whatsmyname:** tsk, whatever

**Different Shades Of Blue**

**Whatsmyname:** harry just informed me that you don't care what we're up to. what's that all about??

 **WatchMeSlay:** I'm in the middle of something, can't talk right now

 **Whatsmyname:** bitch don't lie to me! you don't have anything to do till your date tonight

 **WatchMeSlay:** And how, per say, do you know that?

 **Whatsmyname:** I have you schedule on my phone

 **WatchMeSlay:** Of course you do

 **Whatsmyname:** so spill, why don't you wanna know?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Because I seriously don't want to have to deal with all your problems for once and-

 **WatchMeSlay:** Wait did you say I have a date tonight??

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah, you know, with that green-eyes, purple-haired mess you're in love with

 **WatchMeSlay:** Pretty sure I'd know if I had a date with Mal

 **Whatsmyname:** ok she might not have calling it a date when she asked you out but trust me, it is

 **WatchMeSlay:** Yeah, still have no idea what you're talking about

 **Whatsmyname:** wait... did mal not ask you to hang out tonight??

 **WatchMeSlay:** Uhh, no?

 **Whatsmyname:** unbelievable!

 **Whatsmyname:** that little weasel chickened out!

 **WatchMeSlay:** Yeah, you've lost me

 **WatchMeSlay:** What's going on??

 **Whatsmyname:** don't worry about it, I'll deal with that dumbass later

 **Whatsmyname:** back to why you don't wanna know what's up

 **WatchMeSlay:** I already told you, I don't want to deal with your idiocy for once

 **Whatsmyname:** nah, I don't buy it

 **WatchMeSlay:** Fine, you want to know!? I don't get why you're indulging this!!

 **WatchMeSlay:** I love Mal and you know that! But what do you do? You risk getting her in trouble, getting all of you in trouble, for something she already has!!

 **Whatsmyname:** dude listen. I've already told mal repeatedly that she already has you but she won't fuck listen!

 **Whatsmyname:** and honestly, she wanted to fucking die so you'd realize you couldn't lose her or some shit so you're welcome! I saved your girlfriend's life!

 **WatchMeSlay:** She wanted to what!?

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah, she's hopeless, I know

 **WatchMeSlay:** She's cute though

 **Whatsmyname:** just trust me ok? I'll get you your girl in one piece

 **WatchMeSlay:** Yeah... sorry I got mad at you

 **Whatsmyname:** meh, I've had worse

 **Whatsmyname:** now if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with that dumbass

**frenemies4life**

**Whatsmyname:** why haven't you asked evie out yet?

 **BisexualDragon:** how do u know I haven't?

 **Whatsmyname:** cause I know you. so spill

 **BisexualDragon:** bitch

 **Whatsmyname:** it has been known

 **BisexualDragon:**...I just, you know- what's the rush?

 **Whatsmyname:** yo r u serious rn!?

 **BisexualDragon:** yes...?

 **Whatsmyname:** let me lay it down for you. if you don't do it now, you're never gonna do it, you hear?

 **BisexualDragon:** don't be ridiculous! of course I'll do it! u know... some day

 **Whatsmyname:** no! you won't!

 **Whatsmyname:** so either u ask her out, or I'll do it for you

 **BisexualDragon:** ur bluffing

 **Whatsmyname:** am I?

 **BisexualDragon:** fuck I hate you

 **Whatsmyname:** thats right mallory! go get your girl!

**Blue and Purple**

**BisexualDragon:** hey evie?

 **WatchMeSlay:** If this is you telling me you got yourself in trouble, I'm not helping you

 **BisexualDragon:** why is that always your first thought!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Because I know you

 **BisexualDragon:** well no, I just wanted to ask u something

 **WatchMeSlay:** I'm listening

 **BisexualDragon:** well... did u wanna like, hang out tonight???

 **WatchMeSlay:** Your place or mine?

 **BisexualDragon:** actually, there's this restaurant that I though we could check out

 **WatchMeSlay:** just us?

 **BisexualDragon:** uh yes? I'll pay...

 **WatchMeSlay:** You? Offering to pay? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?

 **BisexualDragon:** shut up! do you want to go or not?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Sure

 **WatchMeSlay:** Send me the address and I'll meets you there at... say seven?

 **BisexualDragon:** uhh...

 **WatchMeSlay:** Is that okay?

 **BisexualDragon:** yeah. yes. that's fine

 **WatchMeSlay:** Wicked. I'll see you tonight than?

 **BisexualDragon:** yep. see you- uh tonight


	4. in case it wasn't clear by now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal, without thinking, stood from her chair, resulting in it—and her—almost ending up on the floor. A sultry laugh escaped her friend and Lucifer, if Mal wasn't already a goner.
> 
> "Evie! He-hey. Uh... hi." She stuttered embarrassedly. 
> 
> Evie smirked, amused, before running her brown orbs down the shorter girl's form without shame. Mal on the other hand, was very much self-conscious at the attention she was getting from the gorgeous girl in front of her but realized she should probably stop standing there like an idiot and stop like, completely embarrassing herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for my crappy writing.

**frenemies4life**

**BisexualDragon:** come over

 **Whatsmyname:** uh why?

 **BisexualDragon:** because I asked evie out but I'm just now realizing the restaurant u suggested is like, super fucking fancy and this is EVIE we're talking about and I have no idea what to wear!

 **Whatsmyname:** woah

 **Whatsmyname:** ok yeah that's a lot

 **BisexualDragon:** just hurry up and get here!

 **Whatsmyname:** yeah yeah

 **Whatsmyname:** I'm coming

 **Whatsmyname:** be there in ten

Mal threw her phone across the room, not even checking to see if it landed on the bed safely. instead she focused her attention on the necklace that sat on her vanity dresser. This wasn't just any necklace though. No, the piece of jewellery was the cause of the chaos at the mall the day before.

Uma had recently found a spell that allowed the caster to create any object, as long as the vision was clear in the user's mind. The problem was that Mal really didn't know that much about jewellery, so Gil had the great idea of sneaking into Pandora to take pictures for ideas, when the staff denied them permission.

("Why don't we just use the internet?" Mal had asked when the former pirate suggested the plan.

Uma had been the one to answer with, "well we're already here aren't we?")

And then, when Carlos, with all of his anxiety induced fears, refused to sneak in when the store was closed for the day in fear that the security guards would catch them, Dizzy decided—without telling the others of her plan—to steal one of the guard’s badge. When they begun to chase after her, Mal and Uma followed, giving the boys a perfect opportunity to break in to the store unnoticed.

Mal then proceeded to spend the entire afternoon looking through the many photos the boys had taken previously. Mal was actually quite proud of herself for how the necklace had turned out. The chain and outer diamonds that created a kind of protective barrier around the main gem were both silver, while the jewel that rested in the centre had blue and purple clashing together, resulting in a mix of her and the girl who had stolen her heart

Once the human-dragon (as her friends called her) was done admiring her gift for her best friend, she turned to glare at her wardrobe, begrudgingly deciding she should at least look through her clothes before Uma arrived. And sure enough, the turquoise girl found her friend rummaging through her clothes when she arrived in front of her bedroom door.

"Hades, Mal, you really are stressed out aren't ya?" Uma laughed when Mal jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Don't you knock!?" The purple-haired girl asked rhetorically, knowing full well Uma never knocked. The sea witch just shrugged as she walked into the room, earning an eye roll from the other girl. 

Uma went straight to the queen sized bed in the middle of the room, flopping down on her back, causing the mattress to speak. "So why are you stressing again? I mean, Evie literally _made_ ninety-five percent of your clothes, so, naturally, she'll like your outfit." She reasoned, not completely understanding why Mal was freaking out.

Mal once again rolled her eyes (it tended to happen a lot when Uma was around). "You clearly don't know her well than. I mean... should I wear a dress? A jumpsuit maybe? And what about accessories? Evie's always telling me that jewellery makes an outfit. And what style of makeup should I wear? should I wear my hair up or down? and-" Uma decided to cut her off before the girl worked herself up so much and bailed on the whole thing. Which her former rival knew was very much a possibility.

(Not because Uma like, cared about Mal or anything. No, not at all. She was just sick of watching her dance around her feelings for her best friend. She was willing to admit that _maybe_ she was doing it for Evie, because, she supposed, the blue-haired girl wasn't _so_ bad. But not Mal. Nope, she was not doing this for Mal.

(Okay so there might have been a, teeny, tiny, part of her that was doing it for Mal, but it was like, super tiny. Really, almost non-existent.))

"Okay, yeah, that's a lot. Does Evie seriously care about all that stuff?"

The look Mal gave her told her all she needed to know.

* * *

Almost two hours later found the two girls in Mal en suite bathroom, having finally picked out an outfit—a purple (of course) dress that stopped just before her knees, a black bow resting on her waist. her earrings and necklace matched, both rose gold with a single silver crystal resting in the centre—and decided that she would wear her hair down, in curls. Her makeup was simple but elegant, and she had made sure Uma paid extra attention to her eyes, knowing her best friend had quite an obsession with them.

Mal was staring at herself in the mirror as she fiddled with her looks, straightening her dress, reapplying her lipstick, spraying a shit ton of hair spray in her purple locks, just to insure her curls stayed in place.

"Dude would you like, calm down, you look fine." The witch sighed, shaking her head.

Honestly, it was kind of amusing to see Mal—the same Mal who once ruled the isle—reduced to a nervous fidgeting mess. But she had spent the last couple of hours listening to her go on and on about how in love with Evie she was and, "do think she'll like this blush?" Or, "oh, Evie said this ring looks really good on me!" And honestly, she just wanted this to end already.

(She one hundred percent did _not_ enjoy watching Mal ramble on like some lovesick teenager. And she definitely didn't find it adorable how insecure and oblivious the girl was. Not one bit)

Mal turned to her, worry lacing her green orbs. "You sure?"

Uma grinned. "Yeah. If I didn't find you completely repulsing and wasn't dating Audrey, I'd totally do you."

The fairy snorted, "yeah, no, we are not doing that again." She replied absentmindedly, looking herself over once more in the mirror before nodding. Then, as if on cue, her phone dinged to reveal a notification from Evie.

Mal didn't even attempt to hide her smile as she unlocked her phone.

**Blue and Purple**

**WatchMeSlay:** We still set to meet at seven?

 **BisexualDragon:** yep

 **BisexualDragon:** I was just getting ready to leave, wbu

 **WatchMeSlay:** I might be a little late...

 **BisexualDragon:** lmao don't worry, I expect it from you by now

 **WatchMeSlay:** Well I do love to make an entrance

 **BisexualDragon:** smh, see u soon, E

"Your so in love, it's nauseating." Uma commented, not needing any hints as to who the purple-haired girl was texting.

Mal simply flipped her off as she left the bathroom, grabbing her car keys and purse from her bedside table. When she turned around to see Uma looking at her expectantly, she raise an eyebrow. "I'm about to leave so..." She trailed off, hoping the turquoise-haired girl would get the hint and leave.

When she didn't make any attempt at moving, Mal sighed. " Did you need something?" She gave in.

Uma smirked, leaning against the bathroom door and the human-dragon knew that the next thing that came out of her friend's mouth would be completely uncalled for. "Just, if you get laid tonight, I want total credit."

  
  


Yep. Completely uncalled for.

* * *

Mal had never been this nervous in her life and (although she tried to deny it) she had been plenty nervous.

There had only been three other occasions that even came close to the amount of anxiety she was feeling right now. The first time was when she found out about her mother's plan to steal the fairy godmother's wand, having made it very clear that a hefty punishment would befall Mal if she failed. The second time was when she chose to return to the isle, the pressures of being a lady of the court having become too much for her.

And the third. The third was when she called off her engagement with Ben. Having found the love spell Uma had put him under, much different from the cookie recipe she have used once upon a time.

_A kiss shall seal the deal_

_a kiss from another shall break it_

It wasn't true love's kiss that broke the spell. A kiss from one who wasn't Uma is was did the trick. Hell _Chad_ could've kissed Ben and it would've broken the curse. 

At the time, Mal thought it was impossible to be more nervous than she was but here, waiting in this restaurant for Evie, she proved herself wrong.

And despite the common belief, Mal isn't _totally_ oblivious (on a scale from one to ten, she would say she was about a nine point eight at the most. So not completely just... mostly), she knows that the way her and Evie act can occasionally come off as non-platonic. She knows that most best friends don't confess their love every five seconds, and that most best friends aren't constantly kissing, cuddling and just generally touching _all the time._ So yeah, Mal knew her and Evie had always been a little more than friends.

But it's just, like, this was Evie. Evie who, despite Mal's many fuckups, never gave up on her. Honestly, even if the blue-haired princess loved her back, Mal wasn't even sure she deserved her. Who's to say the fairy didn't do something stupid and fucked up everything and lost her best friend. Because, above everything, that's what Evie was. Her best friend. And she would rather keep her as just that than ask for something more only to end up losing her completely.

And just like that, she was spiralling, so without a second thought, she pulled out her phone and tapped the group chat that had make all this possible.

**Kiss The Girl**

**BisexualDragon:** help me, I'm panicking!

 **puppies &anxiety: **what happened??

 **BisexualDragon:** I don't fucking deserve her. this is a terrible idea. she deserves better than me

 **Whatsmyname:** r u serious dude?

 **Whatsmyname:** I just saw u like 20 minutes ago!? tf

 **ImALittleDizzy:** is evie there yet?

 **BisexualDragon:**...no

 **puppies &anxiety: **so you're freaking out before you've even seen her?

 **EggsandAces:** that's a bit dramatic don't ya think?

 **BisexualDragon:** fuck off! I'm spiralling here!!

 **ImALittleDizzy:** I swear to everything good and beautiful, you better not leave that restaurant mal bertha!

 **Whatsmyname:** LMFAO!! u just got told off by a 16 year old ;D

 **puppies &anxiety: **I agree with her though

 **puppies &anxiety: **you better not mot move from your seat

 **BisexualDragon:** why do you all assume I'm going to leave!?

 **EggsandAces:** cause we know you and we know how ur brain works

 **ImALittleDizzy:** seriously thought mal, relax. if anyone deserves her it's u

 **BisexualDragon:** you think so?

 **Whatsmyname:** seriously bitch stop being so stupid!

 **Whatsmyname:** you love her. she loves you. it'll be fine, just give it a chance

"M?" Mal had been so absorbed with the conversation at hand that she hadn't realized Evie walk into the restaurant. When she looked up from her phone, the sight before her made her breath stutter. Evie—as always—was the picture of perfection, instead of her signature blue, the sorceress wore a long flowing red dress which matched her apple red lipstick. Half her hair was up in a perfect, neat bun, while the rest of her blue locks fell over her shoulders in waves. In short, she was beautiful.

Mal, without thinking, stood from her chair, resulting in it—and her—almost ending up on the floor. A sultry laugh escaped her friend and Lucifer, if Mal wasn't already a goner.

"Evie! He-hey. Uh... hi." She stuttered embarrassedly. 

Evie smirked, amused, before running her brown orbs down the shorter girl's form without shame. Mal on the other hand, was very much self-conscious at the attention she was getting from the gorgeous girl in front of her but realized she should probably stop standing there like an idiot and stop like, completely embarrassing herself.

(Unbeknownst to her, Evie found her flustered form utterly endearing.)

"I've got to admit, for a moment there I thought this was a prank, but this place is actually... whoa." Evie looked around the restaurant with absolute admiration in her beautiful brown eyes, and Mal melted.

"Are you sure you're okay with paying? The food must be expensive?" The taller girl rose a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

And, Mal seriously needed her to cool it with... all _that_ because at this rate she isn't going to survive long enough to hear her friends (*cough* Uma and Jay *cough*) teasing remarks. And, yeah, it's kind of ridiculous for her to be this nervous considering they hang out all the time but, like, this was different.

"Don't worry about it, dude. Just because I don't live in a castle, doesn't mean I'm poor." 

"Starter castle," Evie corrected automatically as she moved to sit down.

The human-dragon laughed as she followed the other girl's lead and sat back in her chair. "Seriously though, choose whatever you want, my treat," Evie gave her a blinding smile, and something about the way she was looking at her gave Mal the courage to through in a: "I'll even let you have desert." with a wink.

Evie's blush caused a huge grin to break out across Mal's face and, for now at least, her doubts and fears of not deserving this gorgeous creature in front of her vanished.

* * *

Mal had a habit of forgetting the time when she was with the blue-haired princess. They could talk for hours but it never felt longer than a few minutes. Tonight was no exception, and when Evie suggested they should head home, it took her completely by surprise. She quickly dished out her phone (ignoring the many messages from her annoying friends) and the glaring _10:36_ that greeted her was an unwelcome surprise.

She just knew she'd be getting an earful if the other's found out she'd bailed on asking Evie out. And honestly, she _wanted_ to ask Evie out. She's beginning to realized that's what she's always wanted, and yeah, it was terrifying, the thought of losing her best friend for a chance of something more but she's starting to think she could lose just as much by keeping her feelings a secret.

So without giving it another thought, when she was done paying the check and her and Evie were leaving the restaurant, before the other girl had a chance to reach her car, Mal stopped her. "Wait, E." The witch removed her hand from her car door to turn back towards her friend, showing her she had her attention. 

And okay, this was a bad idea, because, Evie looked even more gorgeous bathed in the moonlight than she had inside under the shimmering light of the candles and like, Mal thought that was impossible at this point but Evie just kept surprising her. There was a second there where she literally forgot to breathe and after she recovered, the only thing she could think about was keeping Evie under the watchful gaze of the moon. So, naturally, she said, "come for a walk with me?"

For a second, Mal wasn't sure if the question was a good idea or not, but when Evie's face immediately brightened, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, her doubts once again vanished, and all it took was a single look from the girl in front of her.

(Mal couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Evie had just been waiting for her to ask.)

"I'd love to." She practically whispered her answer, as though speaking to loud would make Mal change her mind.

Mal really was feeling confident that night, because as soon as the words left her crush's mouth, she smirked and immediately grabbed Evie's hand, taking great delight in the red that was painted across Evie's cheeks. 

As they walked, taking in the sights of the beautiful city that was Auradon, Mal tried to think of the different ways she could start this conversation. She had never really been that good with planning, she was a go with the flow kind of girl but even so, she wanted this to be perfect and she didn't what to screw it up by not thinking and saying the wrong thing. Evie deserved this done right, so Mal would figure out how to do it right.

"You're thoughts are loud tonight." Evie's voice is what broke her out of her own mind. She had been so caught up, she'd almost forgotten the blue-haired girl was there, walking right along side her, hands entwined.

When she looked into earthly brown eyes to see them staring back at her, laced with concern, her heart thudded loudly in her chest. So much so, that for a second she was afraid Evie would hear it. Mal quickly glanced away, biting her lip to stop her from doing something stupid like bite _Evie's_ lip instead.

A squeeze of her hand drew her attention back to the other girl. "If you have something to say, just say it." Once again, Evie's voice was a soft whisper, as if she might scare Mal away.

(As if anything could.)

Suddenly, Mal halted to a stop, causing Evie to do the same. She stared at the taller girl, so many emotions running through her. So many things she wanted to tell her. Such as, "I like you," or, " I'm hopelessly in love with you." Maybe even a, "doesn't it feel as though our hands were made to fit together?"

But instead, when she spoke, the words that came out were, "I have something for you."

Evie tilted her head to the side, like a confused (and adorable) puppy and once again, Mal forgot how to breathe.

Eventually, she managed to reach into her bag and pull out the necklace she went through so much trouble to get. And _fuck_ the look on Evie's face was everything Mal hoped it would be and so, _so_ much more.

"Oh, my god Mal, it's beautiful! Wait... is this why Gil and Carlos broke into Pandora, because I swear if you're giving me stolen jewellery I am going to-" Mal couldn't help but laugh at the way Evie went from zero to one hundred in such a short period of time.

"No E, relax. It isn't stolen." The purple-haired girl shook her head lovingly.

Evie narrowed her eyes as she spoke, " you going to give me anything else to go on?"

Mal stuck her tongue out teasingly as she held out the pendent for her to take. "Nope," She said, popping the "p". "Now are you going to except my gift or not?"

Evie's facial expression softened, even as she rolled her eyes. She turned around and swept her hair away from her neck. Mal got the message and stepped towards her, gently placing the piece of jewellery around her neck before carefully clipping it in place. 

The next thing that happened was completely unexpected—but not unwelcome. Mal apparently lost all self control and, without thinking she leaned in and placed her lips against Evie's bare shoulder. Another completely unexpected thing (it wasn't really but it was to Mal because, in case it wasn't clear by now, she's like, really oblivious) was Evie reaching her hand back to let her fingers grip at Mal's hair as she let out a pleasantly surprised gasp.

For a minute, that's how they stayed, completely forgetting they were standing in the middle of the street while it was getting dangerously close to midnight.

When Evie pulled her hand away from Mal's hair but made no move to put any distance between them, the shorter girl decided now was the time she should probably say something. And by now she was pretty sure she knew what was going on (she hopes at least) but still, she needed to be sure. "We were never just friends. Were we?"

Evie chuckles sounding almost... relieved. "I was wondering when you'd notice." she turned around, and _holy shit_ their lips were literal _inches_ apart and it was taking everything in Mal to not lean in and kiss the living daylights out of her.

Turns out she didn't have to. Because before Mal could even process what was happening, Evie did all the work for her, leaning down and claiming the human-dragon's lips for herself.

For a few seconds, Mal just stood there, basking in the feeling of Evie's lips against her own before she allowed her eyes to flutter shut and reciprocate the gesture.

_So this is a true loves kiss?_ Mal wondered. There might not have been an unbreakable curse that could only be fixed by being kissed by your one true love but even so, Mal was pretty sure this is what it was supposed to feel like. What she was supposed to feel with Ben, but never did.

(Ironically, the only other time she ever felt anything close to the way she felt right now was the time she spent with Uma back on the Isle. But even that was more about lust than love.)

Mal pulled back from the embrace far too soon for either of their liking but she needed Evie to know. (Even though she most likely already did. Because apparently everyone knew.) "I... am so fucking in love with you, Evie." She told her as she opened her eyes slowly.

Once again, Evie's brown orbs stared back at her green, but this time they held a spark, a spark of a woman finally getting what she wanted. "I'm sorry I didn't figure it out sooner. I'm a little dense."

Evie raised an eyebrow, amusement clear on her beautiful features. "Just a little?" She teased, a smirk rising upon her lips. Mal rolled her eyes and mumbled something along the lines of, "shut up" before tilting her head up and connecting their lips again.

And if Mal grinned like a complete idiot when Evie whispered: "I am very much in love with you too." in between kisses.

Well. That was no one's business but hers.

(But she totally did.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this gets worse as it goes along, it's probably because the second half of this was written while I was sick. Also it's been really long since I've written something that isn't a chat fic and I'm a little out of it. And, you know, I don't have a beta because, anxiety lmao. So apologizes for any mistake you might find. I did reread it multiple times but I probably still missed a bunch of mistakes.


	5. if you must know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WilFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** did you come online just to make fun of jay
> 
>  **BisexualDragon:** well of course
> 
>  **princeofthieves:** well than... mission accomplished
> 
>  **puppies &anxiety:** lmao, yeah right
> 
>  **princeofthieves:** Carlos ur suppose to be on my side! 
> 
> **Whatsmyname:** MALLORY BERTHA!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains a lot of yelling from angry gays, please continue with caution

**Blue and Purple**

**BisexualDragon:** evieee where did u go??

 **WatchMeSlay:** I went on a coffee run but I couldn't bring myself to wake you up, you just looked so peaceful

 **BisexualDragon:** well hurry back I'm lonely :(

 **WatchMeSlay:** I'll be back soon, want your usual?

 **BisexualDragon:** yes. you're the best princess!

 **WatchMeSlay:** tell me something I don't know

**Island Fuckers**

**Whatsmyname:** Mal

 **Whatsmyname:** maaaal

 **Whatsmyname:** MAL

 **Whatsmyname:** ANSWER UR PHONE MALLORY

 **VoodooYouDo:** hades Uma

 **ImALittleDizzy:** did you know there's this thing called direct messaging??

 **princeofthieves:** hahaha! sassy dizzy has come out to play!!

 **Iwillconyou:** she's so hot...

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** what's got you so worked up, love?

 **Whatsmyname:** I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!!

 **puppies &anxiety: **actually yeah, come out (lol) and tell us what happened!

 **EggsandAces:** tell us! tell us! tell us!

 **princeofthieves:** whats happening?

 **VoodooYouDo:** beats me

 **ImALittleDizzy:** @BisexualDragon @WatchMeSlay tell us what happened!!!

 **Iwillconyou:** uh, how bout someone tell _me_ what's happening?

 **WatchMeSlay:** I think my phone just tried to commit suicide. What is all this noise?

 **Whatsmyname:** A) WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT AND B) TELL MAL TO STOP IGNORING ME!!!!!!!!

 **WatchMeSlay:** oh yeah, she turned her phone on silent because you wouldn't stop texting her

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** does this have anything to do with a certain mall adventure

 **EggsandAces:** evie did u like the necklace!?

 **princeofthieves:** what necklave!?

 **Iwillconyou:** necklave

 **puppies &anxiety: **necklave

 **Whatsmyname:** necklave

 **VoodooYouDo:** necklave

 **BisexualDragon:** necklave

 **ImALittleDizzy:** MAL!!

 **WilFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** did you come online just to make fun of jay

 **BisexualDragon:** well of course

 **princeofthieves:** well than... mission accomplished

 **puppies &anxiety:** lmao, yeah right

 **princeofthieves:** Carlos ur suppose to be on my side! 

**Whatsmyname:** MALLORY BERTHA!!

 **BisexualDragon:** for the last time dude, Mal isn't short for Mallory!

 **Whatsmyname:** M A L L O R Y B E R T H A

 **Whatsmyname:** HOW DARE U IGNORE ME AFTER I SAT THROUGH TWO HOURS OF UR BULLSHIT!!!!!

 **BisexualDragon:** sorry my phone die

 **VoodooYouDo:** I thought it was on silent

 **EggsandAces:** called! out!

 **WatchMeSlay:** she's pouting fyi

 **BisexualDragon:** EVIE!

 **ImALittleDizzy:** OMG R U TWO TOGETHER NOW OR NOT JUST TELL USSSSS

 **WillFlirtWithAnyoneWithinTenMetres:** WAIT WHAT!?

 **Iwillconyou:** THEY'RE TOGETHER!? FINALLY!?!?

 **Whatsmyname:** U HEARD THE PEOPLE! SPILL UR GUTS!!

 **puppies &anxiety:** u know they actually say "spill the tea" here in Auradon...

 **Whatsmyname:** potato potahto. Mallory? Evelyn?

 **WatchMeSlay:** Evelyn...?

 **princeofthieves:** don't even bother lmao

 **VoodooYouDo:** stop changing the subject! u two fuck or not?

 **BisexualDragon:** what's that? someone in need of my amazing abilities? sorry guys, I gotta go, baai

 **Whatsmyname:** MALLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**LesBeHonest**

**Queen Bitch:** Evie Grimhilde, you better start explaining yourself!

 **SwordLesbian:**???

 **Queen Bitch:** oh this is a group chat...

 **Queen Bitch:** well, no matter. Now that little shit won't have to explain it twice

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** explain what??

 **Queen Bitch:** explain why she didn't tell us she went on a date with Mal last nigh

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** SHE WHAT

 **SwordLesbian:** EVIE IS IT TRUE!?!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** I have no idea what your talking about

 **Queen Bitch:** oh don't give me that bs missy!

 **WatchMeSlay:** we did go out to dinner but it wasn't a date

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** damn it! I knew it was too good to be true...

 **Queen Bitch:** when why has Uma been going on about a "little bitch who think she can get away with not telling me if she got laid or not after I set up the whole damn date!"

 **Queen Bitch:** and what about that necklace she's been going on about for days!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** well assuming the little bitch is Mal, she did get laid and she did give me the necklace

**WatchMeSlay:**

**WatchMeSlay:** see

 **SwordLesbian:** WOAH WOAH WOAH! HOLD THE FUCK UP!?

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** U GUYS _DID_ SLEEP TOGETHER!?!?

 **Queen Bitch:** U DIRTY LITTLE LIAR!!

 **WatchMeSlay:** I did not lie. Mal said nothing about a date when she invited me out to dinner

 **SwordLesbian:** U KNOW WHAT WE MEANT!!

 **Queen Bitch:** so ur together now!?!?

 **WatchMeSlay:** if you must know

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** please say yes please say yes please say yes

 **WatchMeSlay:** we haven't had the talk yet but I'd say so

 **WatchMeSlay:** and Mal is having great fun watch Uma and the rest of the VKs squirm

 **bibbidibobbidigay:** MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!!

 **Queen Bitch:** oh shit!

 **SwordLesbian:** what's the problem!? thie is great news!!!

 **Queen Bitch:** I might have started screaming from joy and Uma was curious and snatched my phone before I could stop her and she just marched out of the house looking for Mal...

 **WatchMeSlay:** oh no

**frenemies4life**

**Whatsmyname:** U FUCKING ASSHOLE CUNT OF A BITCH

 **BisexualDragon:** ah can I help u?

 **Whatsmyname:** YES! U CAN TELL ME UR WHEREABOUTS SO I CAN COME MURDER UR PALE ASS

 **BisexualDragon:** lucifer shrimpy, take a chill pill

 **Whatsmyname:** JIGS UP EVIE TOLD AUDREY THAT U 2 GOT IT ON LAST NIGHT!!

 **Whatsmyname:** AND UR SHIT SELF DIDN'T TELL ME

 **BisexualDragon:** damn it! really though I could keep it up for a few weeks...

 **Whatsmyname:** AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR U THIS IS HOW U REPAY ME U LITTLE-

 **BisexualDragon:** wait, Uma are you... actually upset that I didn't tell you?

 **Whatsmyname:** I'm _upset_ that u haven't thanked me for my service!

 **BisexualDragon:** awe! u really do care don't ya

 **BisexualDragon:** guess u really are going soft

 **Whatsmyname:** fuck u

 **BisexualDragon:**...

 **BisexualDragon:** I do though... u know... appreciate what u did...

 **Whatsmyname:** now who's going soft

**BisexualDragon** :P :P :P

 **Whatsmyname:** I guess I can like, not murder u or whatever

 **BisexualDragon:** not like u could

 **Whatsmyname:** bottom

 **BisexualDragon:** tentacle kink

**Blue and Purple**

**WatchMeSlay:** who would have thought you'd have a soft spot for Uma

 **BisexualDragon:** I do not!

 **WatchMeSlay:** aha, sure

 **WatchMeSlay:** you do know she's going to tell everyone, right?

 **BisexualDragon:** I don't give a shit

 **WatchMeSlay:** just making sure you know

 **BisexualDragon:** well I love you E and I don't care who knows it. I just thought it'd be fun to mess with everyone

 **WatchMeSlay:** if only everyone knew how sweet you really are

 **BisexualDragon:** bitch

 **WatchMeSlay:** seriously M, stop flattering me

 **BisexualDragon:** smh

 **BisexualDragon:** when does ur appointment finish again??

 **WatchMeSlay:** in about half an hour, you haven't left yet, right?

 **BisexualDragon:** nope so hurry back!

 **WatchMeSlay:** to you Mal? always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time EVER I actually managed to finish a multichapter fic. Albeit it was a short one, but I'm taking it as progress.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed it, it was really fun to write. hope to see you on my next fic :)


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